Harry Potter and the Inappropriate Use of Latin.

Anyone who knows me should know that I am an avid Harry Pothead. My devotion to this wonderful series, however, went on a brief hiatus during the summer of 2008. I was, to put it simply, bored of the books. I'd read them one dozen too many times, and could probably recite full scenes by heart. Still can actually, but that's besides the point.

Then, I took my first Latin class, and it all changed. It only took about three or four classes before I realized; "Holy goddamn! The spells are all logical and Latin based!" 'Crucio,' for starters, which is a rather horrific curse, derives directly from the Latin verb crucio, cruciare, cruciavi, cruciatum, which means "to torture." Harry Potter was forever reignited in my interest.

But then, I paused, if the format is that simple, then what on earth stopped the pre-adolescent and adolescent boys and girls attending Hogwarts from creating their own spells? What stopped the poor boy who always got laughed at in the Quidditch locker rooms from using a simple engorgio charm to...fix the problem? Granted, the engorgio charm derives from an English root, but the concept is the same. What was stopping 12 year old boys from sneaking up behind a pretty and well endowed 7th year girl, swishing their...wands, and shouting "AUFERO!"*

From there, it's not particularly difficult to make the leap to questioning the sanity of giving an eleven year old boy an invisibility cloak. Or allowing an old, gay man (Dumbledore, for all you who aren't literate in the lore of Harry Potter) to revel in the power of invisibility.** In Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone, Dumbledore literally pops up behind eleven year old Harry, while Harry is gazing longingly into the Mirror of Erised. The Mirror of Desire (Read 'erised' backwards; it'll make more sense.)

Harry then asks Dumbledore what he sees in the Mirror. Dumbledore answers, and affably, that he sees socks.

...

What the hell, old man?

Keep it to yourself.

Below is the first of many videos documenting a charming parody. Watch it; it's on youtube.com.





*Aufero, auffere, apstuli, ablatus; to remove, snatch off, steal, snatch away.
**I love Dumbledore. I am simply pointing out the...problems with certain scenarios.